Veterans Day Etiquette: Recognizing Service Without Intrusion
Former Marines and Army officers share mixed views on verbal gratitude, suggesting simple gestures like a nod may be preferred over spoken words.
By Rafael Bailey ·
The custom of thanking service members for their duty is widely accepted, but several veterans say the practice can feel awkward or unnecessary. As the November 11 holiday approaches, opinions on how to acknowledge military service vary among those who have worn the uniform.
Andy Traynor, a retired Marine who served 27 years, spent much of his post-service life avoiding public identifiers of his rank. He served in Vietnam as a tanker before being reassigned to infantry duty. For years, he avoided wearing items that might prompt strangers to approach him with well-wishes.
"When I first started getting that, I was not sure what to say," Traynor said. He now responds to offers of gratitude by stating, "It was an honor to serve." He added that he would serve again if given the opportunity, despite his age.
Trish Manghelli, a docent at the National Museum of the Marine Corps, expresses a stronger preference against being thanked. She served in the Marines for five years during the 1980s. "It's hard for me. I don't want to be thanked," she said. "I don't come out here to be thanked. I just come out here to honor those that came before me, those who are serving today."
Manghelli noted that women were rare in the Corps during her tenure. She often found herself the only female in her unit, serving alongside senior officers who had fought in Vietnam. She cited her father's WWII service as a primary motivation for joining the military, a fact she learned only after his death.
Other veterans view verbal gratitude positively. Joseph Ortiz, who served eight years in the Army including helicopter flights during the 1990 Gulf War, stated that he appreciates being thanked. "Not at all. I appreciate it," he said when asked if he minds the attention.
Lt. Col. Doug Osborne, who completed two tours in Iraq and one in Afghanistan, suggested that recognition does not require spoken words. "Thanks doesn't have to be verbal either," he said. "It could be something as simple as a head nod or putting your hand over your heart as you're walking past us."
Osborne advised that a simple nod is sufficient for those who feel uncertain about approaching a veteran. Mike Curry, a Navy veteran who served 20 years, agreed that service is a job to be done rather than a performance for recognition. He said he would not turn down thanks, but he also accepted a drink as a valid form of appreciation.
